Have you ever noticed that christians have a really bad tendency to segregate themselves from those who are not “church go-ers?” We’re called to go into the world and preach the Gospel and be examples of Christ and many are portraying a Christ who is snobby, selective and downright unfriendly and unloving.
I’m one of those kids who was “born in the pew.” My dad was a Pastor and trust me when I say I have seen it all. In fact there’s not much in church that surprises me at all. And then, of course, I decided to go from the frying pan into the fire by being in full time and part time ministry at various times in my life. WHAT was a I thinking? 🙂
I’ve noticed the tendency to be “cliquish” or “exclusive” mainly among women in the church. Especially those who are raising children. They feel by keeping their children away from “worldly” people they will protect them. Some even homeschool. Some send their kids to private religious schools In fact I’ve taught at faith based homeschool groups co-ops and found that some were sort of stand offish if you didn’t attend the church they attended or if your denomination was not the same as theirs. It even made me feel uncomfortable.
Here’s an example – a young mom took her kids to a local homeschool co-op in an affluent area here in Rochester, New York. She considers herself a christian but because her church has a woman priest, she was told to leave the co-op because her church wasn’t “christian enough.”
Here’s another one – and an all too frequent occurrance – parents who don’t attend church are not welcomed into faith based co-ops because they have no church affiliation. Also, parents who attend a mixed group of secular and christian parents are divided almost like in two sects. It’s as though the group is split down the middle because some are atheists or don’t attend church . Now don’t get me wrong, there are also secular groups who are very stand offish to christian families too and that’s not right but I wonder WHY they’re that way? Could it be the “In Your Face” approach that some christians use that turns them off?
I don’t condemn those in the christian homeschool groups for wanting to protect their kids and to keep things as God oriented as possible. I understand that. I agree with it to an extent but when I hear stories from others who have felt excluded and it hurt them, it really ticks me off that they are now turned off to christians and God because of someone’s actions.
When I grew up my parents didn’t tell me I couldn’t hang out with kids who didn’t attend my church or who were of another religion. My dad told me to love everyone and be nice to everyone and to treat them how I wanted to be treated and THAT would be how I could show Christ to them. So I did. I didn’t shove Jesus down anyone’s throat. I was just myself. Many of my school friends have told me that they admire my strong faith and that I’ve held on to that through the years. My life has spoken to them – isn’t that the whole idea?
As I got older I and went through some things over the years, I’ve taken the stance that my life is the biggest testimony of Jesus. That being REAL is vital. That there is NO ROOM for fake. It’s NOT how many christian friends I have and if I only hang out with christians. I don’t have a christian dr, a christian dentist or a christian mechanic.
When I was leading Moms groups in Florida, the one large group I was heading up had women that were methodist, presbyterian, catholic and pentecostal. AND GUESS WHAT? They ALL got along!! No one bothered to be ” too methodist” or “too pentecostal” to be friends with anyone else. In fact, I’ve watched them form some of the most supportive, strong bonds between each other that will last a life time. Another Moms group I ran which was smaller had women of churched and unchurched backgrounds and they ALL got along. They celebrated with each other, cried with each other, laughed with each other. It didn’t matter that they didn’t attend church. They were moms making a difference in each other’s lives.
What a difference we would make if we would just drop the “our church is holier than yours” mentality or “only the (insert denomnination name) are going to heaven” mentality. For awhile when I was younger I DID have the impression that only born again christians were going to heaven. My view on that has changed in that I have met many catholics, methodists and others who have such a close personal relationship with God and that know the Word of God so well that it puts alot of “born again” christians to shame.
So I’m saying this – LOSE THE STARCH IN YOUR SHORTS PEOPLE. Start acting REAL. Drop your superior attitudes and be the type of Jesus we see in the Bible that didn’t separate himself from people but that made himself available to people, that ate with sinners and that healed those in need.
Do you realize that the person you’re holding at arm’s length could be the “divine appointment” that God has for you? That YOU could be the person who makes a difference in that person’s life?
My husband worked with a guy that wasn’t a christian when he started working there. Dave never preached at him but he shared with him about his life and our family and occasionally mentioned God in the conversations and his walk with God. A few years later, that same guy came into work on a Monday morning and told my husband he had accepted Jesus at a men’s retreat because of Dave and his life style example. Dave had been the walking, living, breathing example of Jesus to that man. And it changed BOTH their lives.
Some of you may agree or disagree with my blog today and that’s ok. Maybe it will provoke you into thinking about how you act around people who aren’t churched or who don’t measure up to your ideas of a “christian.” It even might spur you on to befriend someone that you might be able to make a difference in their life.
Lose the starch and see how different things are – you’ll be surprised what a difference you can make.
Feel free to check out my other blogs – “The Mom Adventure” and “Cherylannbellavia”
From the Inside of Church 